science fiction

Ready Player One – Film Review

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Ready Player One - Film Poster

It starts off well, I must say, the first 20 minutes of Ready Player One, even with significant changes, capture the spirit of the novel. And the moment when Wade Watts’ name first appears on the Oasis leaderboard is ALMOST as impactful as it is in the novel.

The story unfolds in a near, dystopian future where life revolves around obtaining the hidden, inheritable key of a virtual reality that dominates every aspect of life (education, work, entertainment). However, the changes, which were obviously necessary for the story to work as a film, and even more so as a visually stunning one, gradually overshadow the narrative.

From the overwhelming computer animation that makes up 99-100% of Ready Player One, your head soon starts to buzz, and you feel like you’ve sunk into a Japanese role-playing game filled with manga characters, watching with increasing boredom from the sidelines as the avatars of other characters duke it out.

It’s like being in one of those muddled Transformers movies.

The youth-level black-and-white characters and childish humor don’t help much, nor does the shivery programmer god, Halliday, who seems to look like he’s pooped his pants at every appearance. But the worst is clearly the ultra-lame main antagonist.

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False Gods by Graham McNeill – Book Review

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False Gods by Graham McNeill - Book Cover

In False Gods, the 63rd Expeditionary Fleet continues to march forward under the leadership of Horus Lupercal (and Graham McNeill). (See the previous part: The Horus Heresy by Dan Abnett). Their thunderous steps are guided by a complete lack of political correctness: fully armored, they crush anyone in THE UNIVERSE who is slightly different, or not human enough. Or perhaps human enough, just happens to hold an opposite opinion.

To start, the space marines smack down a few thousand living dead underground, during which Horus himself gets injured. As a result, the entire fleet deflates like a dried prune because they view their beloved leader as a demigod (and truth be told, after a while, you also get swept up in this incredible enthusiasm and start to admire him) even though this semi-divine being sometimes behaves like a narcissistic goose. One of the problems with False Gods is precisely this swooning, completely devoid of common sense respect that the guardsmen have towards Horus. And the way Horus turns towards himself, and who out of sheer pride and awareness of his own invincibility can walk into the most transparent trap. Yes, yes, at this point, you also start to wonder if the emperor’s little son is really the most suitable person to lead a fleet?

The title of the series is, of course, “The Heresy of Horus.” The second part jumps right into the thick of things because the main conflict revolves around Horus getting angry with the Emperor, his beloved and respected daddy, up until now. The quality of the conflict is somewhat diminished by the fact that it mainly plays out on a metaphysical level, specifically within Horus’s MIND. Horus’s attitude (who is, you know, a (BIG-)grown man) seems somewhat childish. He gets offended in advance because Daddy maybe wants to become a god sometime LATER; so surely he won’t care about him afterwards. Oh, and there’s a lot of bureaucracy too. That’s it. This is quite a thin foundation for a 50+ part book series.

From here on out, in the not particularly exciting remaining part of False Gods, you can agonize over whether Horus, who is essentially just a vain and arrogant jerk, will become a vain, arrogant, and EVIL jerk without any transition, based on a few silly visions. The fleet, apart from a few unlucky guys who get stuck outside the circle, will go along with him without a fuss, just like the legions followed the charismatic, emperor-rebelling generals in the Roman Empire.

In False Gods, there are also a few remembrancer leading a debauched lifestyle, who are actually just pebbles, ground-pounders, no one knows why they are with the fleet, and they just trail along after the events. When an ugly monster crawls out of the warp to devour a few of them, you just shrug it off. Bon appétit!

The quality of Graham McNeill’s writing is average, although sometimes a bit heavy-handed, and the characters often get unreasonably angry more often than necessary, but there’s not much of a problem with it. The main problem lies with the story: it all seems unprepared and off-the-cuff, like in a soap opera. If you keep reading this series, there can only be one reason for it: you’re curious (damn curiosity!) about what will happen to the noble Captain Loken, who is about the only character left in the story worth rooting for.

6.3/10

False Gods (The Horus Heresy #2) by Graham McNeill – Book Review
416 pages, Paperback
Published in 2006 by Black Library

Dawn by Octavia E. Butler – Book Review

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Dawn by Octavia E. Butler - Book Cover

The Earth’s got a tough deal. Octavia E. Butler’s “Dawn” serves up a background story where it’s not global warming or some similar modern catastrophe that puts us on the skids, as we’re just starting to experience firsthand, but rather the good ol’ Americans and Soviets doing the orthodox thing, nuking each other. Small detail. Here come the aliens, scooping up quite a few survivors. After a few centuries, they pull them out of cryo, and give them a choice: you can start afresh on the planet and mess it up again, assuming you agree to bear common offspring with us.

Big question: would you be down for a little hanky-panky with a tentacled alien if it meant the survival of your species? Hell yeah? Bucket on their heads and let’s go?

Of course, it’s not that simple. According to Butler’s “Dawn’s” somewhat sluggish story, the aliens’ obsession is the shared offspring. Just because. There isn’t really a sensible explanation for it, just the occasional clumsy excuse or exaggerated enthusiasm for our restless species’ gene pool.

From the closed spaces of the alien’s plant-based spaceship (haha! – in Saga, this might actually work), you initially associate more with chamber drama than sci-fi, and when the awakened characters multiply, you might think of a cross between The Real World and Naked and Afraid. There’s a bit too much soul-searching going on. And to top it off, the space manipulators, alongside their calm indifference, mostly try to achieve their goals through emotional blackmail.

And humans… humans are, well, humans. They are jerks. Impatient, clueless, and as usual, bickering; and whoever feels stronger than others also throws a few punches. But eventually – presumably against Octavia E. Butler’s intentions – you realize you can’t fully condemn them either, because in their sly, passive-aggressive way, the aliens are just as big jerks. And dirty MOLESTERS too.

Hard sci-fi? Yeah, my ass! “Dawn” is more like a promising basic idea clumsily unfolded, resembling at times a better-executed amateur novel.

6.5/10

Dawn (Xenogenesis #1) by Octavia E. Butler
248 pages, Paperback
Published in 1997 by Warner Books

UPDATE: Warning! The sequel goes even more off the rails. Just read the damn blurb, and you’ll rate it below 5/10 sight unseen…

Saga: Volume Two by Brian K. Vaughan · Fiona Staples – Comic Book Review

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Saga: Volume Two by Brian K. Vaughan · Fiona Staples - Comic Book cover

Well, if you thought Brian K. Vaughan slowed down the pace for the second installment of Saga, then you’re mistaken. The two enamoured deserters from Landfall and Wreath’s galaxy wide war continue their rampage – now accompanied by the mama-in-law and papa-in-law of the new mother. The introduction isn’t exactly smooth sailing, but who can resist melting at the sight of a brand new grandchild – especially when they see the horn buds on the little one’s noggin.

The mother-in-law blasted baby Hazel’s new, ghost-babysitter (with her dangling out intestines) out of the game at the end of the previous installment – and you couldn’t help but lament what a loss it was. She was such a cool character. Well, what can we say, she’s not the only one flying into the void.

Of course, there are new characters to fill the gaps left behind, (though it’s obvious that The Stalk can NEVER be replaced). For instance, seeing Marko’s ex-fiancee, you seriously ponder how this dull ass swapped out that gorgeous, fiery chocolate baby for this not-so-morally-solid current wife. (Well, probably because he’s a dull ass.) Gwendolyn would have GUARANTEED you’d never be bored for a second with her. Although, hm, it’ll probably work out with Alana too, at least until she gets bored of him…

You won’t miss shocking twists either, in fact, it feels like they may have overdone it with the story’s twisting this time around, a slightly slower pace might have suited the story better. Although you might think so just because you can reach the end of this slender volume in moments, which is a few pages shorter than its predecessor.

However, Prince Robot IV. is – now confirmed! – a genuine douchebag. Well, so that no human feeling gets caught in his circuits! Hopefully, someone will smash his screen in the next installment!

What you noticeably encounter less of compared to the first volume is the in-your-face primary sexual characteristics. (That’s right, maybe in the next volume.) Until then – even if quantity doesn’t make up for quality – presumably, Fard’s not-too-trustworthy testicles will hover in your mind’s eye.

8/10

Saga: Volume Two by Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples
144 pages, Paperback
Published in 2013 by Image Comics

(Saga: Volume Two collects: Saga #7-12.)

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Review of the previous volume:
Saga: Volume One

Horus Rising by Dan Abnett – Book Review

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Horus Rising by Dan Abnett - Book cover

Have you always been a fan of epic series? Especially when it comes to sci-fi? Well, the flood of books based on the Warhammer 40,000 strategic board game is already around its 50th installment. The big question is just how seriously the whole thing can be taken as literature. Um, somewhat. Maybe. Especially if you’re male, a teenager, and sci-fi, especially the military aspect, gets you excited.

The superhuman, genetically modified space marines, led by Warlord Horus (who’s even more genetically modified), traverse the galaxy with its thousands of worlds, seen and unseen by humans, and if any of the strange new life forms don’t meet certain minimum requirements, like having more heads or tentacles than necessary, they get a good smack in the face. Which is fine so far; the fighting parts are quite, um, interesting, although even as a layman, you might notice that the Horus-led war machine UNNECESSARILY neglects the use of artillery. And the principled, rock-solid, straight-shooting Captain Loken does quite well as a protagonist.

But still, all the space marines are men. You’ve got these genetically turbocharged, tall, jaw-chiseled muscle men towering over you (Big chief Horus is four heads taller than you), and there isn’t a woman among them. You’re not the only one finding it hard to shake off (no pun intended) the horrifying image that this pumped-up herd chases each other around the crew quarters every morning with veiny victory flag, fully aroused to the EXTREME… There are only two meager references to help you understand, if you want, that this whole distinguished company, as it stands, is entirely asexual.

From here on, the story-forming forces of romantic threads and sexual tension are shot into space for the ENTIRE BOOK SERIES.

Something else you won’t find: even a spark of humor. Although in one or two cases, they almost point out to you, bro, hey, listen, humor is coming next… You can guess what the result will be when it needs to be announced specifically… not much at all.

So what’s left? Hm? The ideal of camaraderie. The pursuit of military feats. Honing military skills to the extreme. The belief in the semi-divine Horus, who is entirely like a charismatic and wise Macedonian Alexander the Great – (of course, before his brain completely rotted from paranoia and his own greatness.) If he were to glance at you, doubtless, you’d instinctively salute him.

And of course, the ultimate principle driving fleets into space, the Emperor’s justice, which boils down to if you’re not with us, you’re against us – so we smash you. The essence of the whole plot; sometimes, like in the last chapter, executed quite tastelessly and clumsily.

6,5/10 (65%)

Horus Rising (The Horus Heresy #1) by Dan Abnett
416 pages, Paperback
Published in 2014 by Games Workshop

Saga: Volume One by Brian K. Vaughan · Fiona Staples – Comic Book Review

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Saga: Volume One by Brian K. Vaughan · Fiona Staples - comic book cover

Everything is shit

“Am I shitting? It feels like I’m shitting!”

With these immortal words, the Saga comic series by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples kicks off—in the middle of a childbirth scene, no less. If your immediate reaction is to think, “Maybe this is trying to shock me,” well, you wouldn’t be wrong… But hey, it’s the 21st century, so who doesn’t give a FUCK? who doesn’t give a GOOD GODDAMN?

That said, I wouldn’t exactly recommend the Saga comic to prudes in good conscience, as this is far from the ONLY instance like this.

For example, you’ll encounter dangling male genitalia more than once, swinging in all its glory. Then, you’ll visit a brothel planet and stumble straight into a full-blown orgy. Later, you’ll meet a character with more legs than arms and more eyes than ears. And at this point, you might start doubting yourself: could it be, purely by chance, that you’re just a tad bit twisted for thinking this bizarre creature is sexy as hell…?

But oh yes, it’s entirely possible!

(Oh, and she spends every one of her scenes rocking a monokini. So, if you didn’t already know what arachnophilia is, you’re about to find out.)

And yet, all of this is still not the point.

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