The main character of the film Whip It!, Bliss is 17 years old and lives in Bodeen, Texas (which she thinks is a pretty lousy place) and works at the Oink Joint. Is it any wonder she wants to escape?! I don’t know. My mom never pushed me to participate in beauty pageants, and that’s a significant difference.
But listen, everything changes when Bliss finds a flyer advertising a roller derby league for girls.
From here, we find out that “Whip It!” is a really CUTE movie, but not much more than that. It’s not funny enough to be a comedy, not dramatic enough to be a drama, and as a sports film, it’s pretty thin (though it works best in this category). It gets bonus points for avoiding the biggest clichés of sports movies. As a coming-of-age story, it doesn’t quite hold up either, because every conflict is ridiculously clichéd and we’ve seen them all a thousand times before. Plus, in this movie, it turns out every character, even the nastiest roller girl, has a heart of gold.
As for Bliss… well, her rebellion against her parents is pretty mild. Her best friend, for instance, is a NERD.
The weakest part of all is the romantic subplot. Bliss’s love interest is less appealing than Birdman, the loser from the Oink Joint.
So what’s the deal?
Well, Bliss is very charming, Kristen Wiig and Juliette Lewis effortlessly portray simple, suburban characters, and Daniel Stern is quite believable as the well-meaning, conflict-avoidant dad. I kept wondering why he looked familiar until I realized by the end credits that he’s the taller goofball from Home Alone.
Little “M” didn’t cry once during “Whip It!”, and that says something. Though some particularly sensitive souls might get teary-eyed once or twice, if they’re unlucky.
So, “Whip It!” is a typical one-time watch, directed by Drew Barrymore, who probably doesn’t even know why she made it. Maybe she thought she should make a teen movie that’s about twenty years behind EVERYTHING.
And if you think it was totally pointless to watch this whole thing, you’re very wrong! Even a sweet, mild, sugary film like this can have a universal lesson that goes beyond the movie itself:
What is it?
Did you know that beach volleyball players have the best butts IN THE WORLD?
Well, right after them are roller derby girls.
7.2/10
Whip It! (2009), (IMDb)
Director: Drew Barrymore, Stars: Ellen/iott Page, Drew Barrymore, Kristen Wiig