{"id":75,"date":"2021-01-14T08:04:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-14T08:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/minimal-kritikak.hu\/?p=75"},"modified":"2025-05-01T22:01:08","modified_gmt":"2025-05-01T20:01:08","slug":"gods-of-war-james-lovegrove-book-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/minimal-kritikak.hu\/en\/2021\/01\/14\/gods-of-war-james-lovegrove-book-review\/","title":{"rendered":"Gods of War by James Lovegrove – Book Review"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"Gods<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

A Lukewarm Investigation Begins<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In Gods of War<\/em>, James Lovegrove\u2019s crime novel, Sherlock Holmes is now in his sixties. No surprise, then, that his joints creak and crack like an old staircase. And chubby Dr. Watson? Let\u2019s be honest\u2014he\u2019s not exactly in top shape anymore either.<\/strong> Lucky for them, they barely need to do anything in this story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The great detective, get this, can\u2019t even be bothered to pull off the biggest clich\u00e9 in every Holmes story\u2014using his signature method to deduce, without breaking a sweat, what extraordinary adventures his long-lost buddy had on his train ride\u2014because, supposedly, he’s \u201ctoo excited about the new case.\u201d Which, by the way, turns out to be nothing more than a pathetic little burglary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Feels a bit cheap, doesn\u2019t it?<\/strong> I mean, how hard would it have been for Lovegrove to throw in that Watson\u2019s seatmate across the aisle was an elderly, half-limping horse trader from Devonshire on his way to buy feed for his prize stallion, Oxhead\u2014while to his right sat a spinster in a pheasant-feathered hat, off to visit her sister, who suffers from trichotillomania, casually reading Northanger Abbey<\/em>, fourth edition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cost him nothing.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laurel and Hardy Back on the Case!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Things pick up a little once our two half-baked detectives stumble into another case \u2014 but not by much. The two figures, who honestly feel like self-parodies at this point, bumble through a series of awkward screw-ups and slapstick missteps before uncovering a mystery that would feel cringe even in a teen fantasy novel. And let\u2019s not forget: the \u201cbig reveal\u201d in Gods of War<\/em> is entirely free of excitement or any remotely surprising twist.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The two geriatrics potter around aimlessly for two-thirds of the book. Then Holmes suddenly takes a trip, comes back, and casually announces that he\u2019s solved everything. You, the reader, just sit there blinking\u2014wait, he even figured out stuff I didn\u2019t know needed<\/em> figuring out?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hooray for Anachronisms!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

James Lovegrove\u2019s writing style more or less mimics Conan Doyle\u2019s now, ahem, less-than-fresh prose\u2014aside from a few painfully out-of-place, wildly anachronistic expressions (at one point, a simple fisherman, no less, says Holmes \u201cisn\u2019t exactly my BFF\u201d).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of Gods of War<\/em>\u2019s side characters also feel like they accidentally wandered in from the wrong century<\/strong>\u2014like the overly emancipated costume shop girl who sinks her life savings into a small-town costume business (gotta love that market research!), or the pettily malicious, scheming policeman who seems to have taken a wrong turn out of a children’s cartoon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the Slowest Speed Imaginable!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

But all of this is peanuts compared to one absolutely unique<\/em> literary feat \u2014 something I\u2019ve never<\/em> encountered in my decades of reading: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the man \u2014 James Lovegrove \u2014 who writes IN SLOW MOTION.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check this out:
\u201cI was ten years older than her, but we fell in love. A few months later, her behavior changed, so I broke up with her.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this book, that takes ten pages<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something that should be a sentence turns into half a page\u2014minimum<\/em>. Every little thing is explained to death.<\/strong> If characters arrive at a house, you\u2019re getting at least one full page on the building\u2019s history plus<\/em> everyone\u2019s totally irrelevant thoughts about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If Aleister Crowley, that raving occultist, happens to be mentioned in passing, brace yourself\u2014because you’re about to get two full pages on the eccentric fellow\u2019s entire body of work. And if a character is asked what time it is, sure, they\u2019ll tell you\u2014but they\u2019ll also feel compelled to explain who they inherited the watch from, where they bought the leather strap, and how, three weeks ago, they forgot to wind it and ended up late to Auntie Maggie\u2019s tea party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds boring?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

THAT\u2019S BECAUSE IT BLOODY FREAKING WELL IS!!!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rating: 4.5\/10<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Gods of War<\/em> (The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Titan Books #5) by James Lovegrove
296 pages, Paperback
Published in 2014 by Titan Books<\/a>
—
You may also like:
The Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle<\/a>
—
Mr Holmes’ 21st century successors:
Jack Reacher (see: Blue Moon by Lee Child)
Robert Hunter (see: The Crucifix Killer by Chris Carter)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Lukewarm Investigation Begins In Gods of War, James Lovegrove\u2019s crime novel, Sherlock Holmes is now in his sixties. No surprise, then, that his joints creak and crack like an old staircase. And chubby Dr. Watson? Let\u2019s be honest\u2014he\u2019s not exactly in top shape anymore either. Lucky for them, they barely need to do anything … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[120,25,90,55,264,109,285],"class_list":["post-75","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book","tag-conspiracy","tag-crime","tag-detective-novel","tag-mystery","tag-police-consultant","tag-private-investigator","tag-sherlock-holmes"],"yoast_head":"\nGods of War by James Lovegrove - Book Review - minimal-Critiques<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Gods of War are paralyzed with shock!!! 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