Killing Gunther (2017) – Film Review

Killing Gunther (2017) movie poster

Blake, a hitman, decides—for reasons that are as baffling to himself as they are to everyone else—that he’s going to kill Gunther, the coolest assassin in the game. To pull off this major job, he assembles a ragtag crew of fellow assassins. Oh, and he also ropes in a documentary film crew—obviously, just to ensure his failure is recorded for posterity. Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger among the cast, Killing Gunther not only parodies the action-movie genre with its icy-cold, badass killers but also hilariously mocks itself in the process.

Budget Hitmen for a Bargain

The problem? Everyone in Blake’s team is an idiot. Or a loser. Or both an idiot and a loser. And not the funny kind, mind you—just lame. And painfully dull. Watching this sorry excuse for a crew bumble through their mission, you can’t help but think that if you ever needed to take someone out, you’d be far better off doing it yourself.

Taran Killam’s action-comedy never takes itself seriously, which isn’t necessarily a strength in a film about assassins. Especially during scenes where, you know, they’re supposed to be killing someone. In Killing Gunther, they’re always trying to kill someone—and that someone is, of course, Gunther.

So it’s oddly satisfying to the soul when the great Gunther starts picking off these amateurs who have diluted the once-respectable community of assassins, one by one. What you don’t get, though, is why he doesn’t just chuck a grenade into the middle of the group (again) and end this whole pathetic circus once and for all.

And then, much later, when the great Gunther finally shows up in all his glory, you understand why. It’s because, well, Gunther himself is one sick bastard.

Gunther: Unshakable as an Austrian Oak

Still, the only scenes with any real energy are the ones featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger. As Blake, played by director Taran Killam, he doesn’t convince you as a capable assassin. In fact, not a single member of his team does. But the world’s most famous action star? That’s a completely different story.

For Arnie, Killing Gunther is pure fun—a chance to indulge in a self-aware parody of his action-hero persona. Given his history of dabbling in comedy alongside action films, it’s easy to see why he couldn’t resist the chance to ham it up in this low-budget, utterly silly script.

What Hitmen Do in the Shadows

Taran Killam’s film is basically a low-rent knockoff of What We Do in the Shadows, only with hitmen instead of vampires. While Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s vampire mockumentary starts off much stronger than Killing Gunther, it’s still far more mind-numbing than this movie, which at times feels like outright emotional torture to sit through. And the funniest part? Some clueless people out there claim it’s one of the best comedies of all time. Yeah, right. In your dreams!

While suffering through Killing Gunther with a straight face, there was exactly one joke that made us laugh—me and little M (and yeah, we really did laugh hard at that one). It happens at precisely 15 minutes and 21 seconds. But even by that point, it was painfully obvious that this would be the last time we’d laugh during Taran Killam’s movie.

Rating: 4/10

Killing Gunther (2017), action, comedy, thriller (IMDb)
Director: Taran Killam, Stars: Taran Killam, Hannah Simone, Arnold Schwarzenegger

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(If you’re in the mood for assassins who are far more competent—and even oddly kind-hearted.)
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